To You It May Concern,

I’ve had the pleasure to know you, to hear your heart, to feel your lows and to celebrate your highs. And this came blatantly to tangible fruition recently as I entered the next chapter of my life in celebration with you beside me. Whether by presence, by words, by prayer or simply by that one conversation we had in that one enclosed space for what felt like at least the afternoon, you are my concern and I’m thankful for you.

Your friendship has been a goodness that I’m learning that gives me courage to unclench my fist around the things I thought I was protecting my whole life. Around the things I didn’t trust anyone with, until you showed me that heavy hands are not meant to be in bondage nor that freakin’ heavy.

You are wiser than me in ways I lack and I more than you in yours, and the wisdom that intertwines our dialogues have woven in me bridges of humility, challenge, and well, a lot of lofty and powerful metaphors concerning the intricacies of my insides all to reach the heart of my heart that have essentially healed me with freedom to. just. be.

And that has been the kind of heavy I’m learning to cling toward. The weight that does not drag but drives.

So thank you for the space you create with your affirming head nods, your discreet you know better than this look in your eyes, your insistent posture of honesty and anti-bullshit, your vulnerability that sharpens my own vulnerability and simply your friendship and love that pours into my life at the speed of what feels divinely guided and grandiose.

To you, this may concern.

 

/t

24 things I despise knowing at 24 on the cusp of 25.

  1. It’s super hard to get out of a traffic ticket when the policeman is on the passenger side and your turtleneck is a turtleneck.
  2. E-Harmony ended up being SO not for me, which furthers my whole notion that love don’t cost a thing.
  3. When doing your taxes, make sure you a. have a friend who is an accountant and b. can receive picture messages, and Turbo Tax will be a c. cinch.
  4. A lot of your friends, if they were once believers, will not be currently. Try and choose/embody anything over judgment but live the gospel clearly and confidently.
  5.  You need fiber and protein in your diet people. And potato chips will go to your hips. And take up residency insistently.
  6. Coffee after 3pm makes not-so-young-Tracy super wired.
  7. It’s possible to not have loved at all the first quarter century part of your life.
  8. When I make money and when I don’t, anything free is my eternal flame, and I, a moth.
  9. It’s been three years since I stayed up all night, ate fro yo twice in one day and freaked out because there was a cap and gown on my head/body.
  10. My parents are starting to learn from me. GULP.
  11. All my other friends have a great advantage in stealing my desired baby names because they are likely on their second child.
  12. Dating a 20 year old is now REALLY out of the question.
  13. Every time I’ll say when I was younger, it could mean, “When I was twenty-one…”
  14. I’m one step closer to being the age that it’s weird to talk about Bieber and iCarly, even in a mocking way.
  15. It’s too late to consider a career as a ballerina, dancer, ice skater.
  16. That the list I concocted that I declared I’d accomplish before 25 will have to be altered to “Things I Must Accomplish Before I’m 30” so my expectations might just be met.
  17. I’m practically 30 now.
  18. I’m closer to the goal and self expected minimization of activity on Facebook.
  19. My Point Loma student ID has now lost its value for discounts at the cinema.
  20. Being a dreamer who also can pay rent is a better idea more than ever.
  21. Another year means a growing bridesmaid dress collection.
  22. Life changes don’t mean us going to different colleges, but means us getting married, moving out of state, changing churches and perhaps depending on phone calls that somehow must suffice every Columbus Day…
  23. This life fact: you’ll never know where life itself going. But it’s forward, if you keep these things: positivity, prayer and patience.
  24. That I’m on the cusp of twenty-five.