You had me at goodbye.

The first date I’ve ever been on I don’t consider my first date. Purely because trying to kiss me in line to Peter Pan then again during the ride does not add magic but takes it all and completely away. I understand the idea of false pretenses but I know the signs I give off, and it’s usually one of I’d rather be overcharged for a churro than have your cheeks near mine.

SO, my first official date I remember was during baseball season. He had I-just-showered-hair under what I thought was an impressive baseball cap. But to be honest, what was first just a purple button up which I feel was silk like material, ended up being a super distracting piece of clothing throughout the night. Sometimes I wonder if guys think about their outfits as much as girls (I) do, but a blatant NO comes to mind with this fella (God bless him slash sorry I was 19 so I was all about the exterior). But as we headed to the game, the sun was setting and I remember looking at his rear view mirror catching the purply red light reflecting from his 4Runner back window. I remember he even let me borrow his sunglasses because I was adamant in seeing the sky though it kind of burned my eyes. That was for some reason more than a nice gesture to me so since then, I’ve made it a point to check if a guy will either hand me over his sunnies or judge me in being stubborn in staring at the infinite sun. The former promises a potential lifetime of respect and hugs.

As we got to the game, I met with a friend and her boyfriend. Typical girls in the middle situation with bits of snickering in our own and at times intimate corners. I want to say we were cute, but I’m very certain we were as cute as much as we were falling in love with one another. Though the crowds and Rally Monkey mainly drowned the conversation out, his body language was rallying none of my attention or interest. I just felt awkward and blamed it initially on the sticky floor and mist from all the different drafts that were on tap spewing out of the angry man fans. But at least there was passion in those men! I kept thinking, “man guy next to me, where is your passion?” He spoke with no enthusiasm, which communicated a disinterest in a very interesting girl (no bias). Would I like a rope licorice? Sure. But would I have made you buy it? Probably. But we’ll never know any of these outcomes because you never asked. Or spoke for that matter.

During the bottom of the ninth inning, we decided to head out and grab something to eat. Conversation picked up a bit but the content was alarming. I suppose if I had an ex who did cocaine constantly which consequently led to the demise of my relationship with my lover, I’d probably divulge of such adventurous meets mysterious thriller story too…but yikes, I’ve never even had a whole beer and you’re talking about your ex who used to have at least like 3 beers. Suddenly I felt I was out of my league, but in the good way, where the league is a bunch of coked out, silk shirt wearing, monotone speaking peeps.

This was obvious a sign of a man who was still hung up on a girl who wasn’t me, which thankfully was quite alright/ideal. As I inhaled my animal fries ferociously to thwart of ANY potential interest he may had of me (because I’m just a good listener no matter who you are and what you wear) I soon suggested he’d better get me back home since it was a school night.

During the ride home, he let me play any Fall Out Boy song I wanted to and then after a then very impressive bridge to chorus transition, I was home. Before I stepped out of his vehicle, he suggested we go see Dave Matthews for my birthday (since it was coming up and he had two tickets). I nodded nervously and let him walk me to my front door. As he bent down to hug me with what felt like the weight of his world which surely had no room for mine, I reciprocated with my version of a thank you for the night with two and a half pats on the back and half-smile.

Then he said goodbye and I ran inside and sighed.

As I scurried inside finding my mom in the living room watching Lifetime, I instantly and hurriedly changed out of my too-thought-out outfit and into more comfortable threads. Though my eyes fixated on the young pregnant teen on the screen, my mind was on how nice that boy was, despite his tangled hair and heart. Thankful for his kindness though gray demeanor, I considered the date a success though a second one would never come into fruition. No matter how much Dave Matthews meant to me. Or how much I would love to have someone  to hug days on end.

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